7 Months Old

Here's our little chunky monkey when he was 7 months old.  Oh my goodness, he has changed sooooooo much!  I can't believe it!!!  He was so little!  And chunky cheeks...luckily he still has some of those cheeks and chubs left!!!!

My faves

Here's my faves: BFF-Tiff, since we were 9, so 27 years strong now...Aurelien-my true love from 1997 who I got back together with in 2009, and after 12 years the spark was definitely still there...and my little love-WILLIAM!!!!  Who makes life so incredibly satisfying and fulfilling...I am an incredibly blessed woman!  Praise God!!!

Hello my name is William

And here is my cute little man the day we went to the reunion of the group of us who went to birthing classes together!!!  Even back then he was so CHUNKY!!!!!!!!!

Just Me

So here's little old me, just about a month after my whole radiation ordeal, just trying to get my energy levels up. (a constant battle still going on at the present time!)  It was not an easy thing to go through, you know, the whole cancer right after having your first, very long-awaited child thing...but it made me SO MUCH STRONGER and so much  more sure of WHO I AM and what I stand for.  So there are a lot of little gifts hidden in that VERY HARD THING...I'm sure I will still be discovering, identifying, and naming them for years to come.  I feel these photos reflect that somehow...I still have to do the journaling...I'll get to it...

La la love you

Happy, madly in love MAMA!  So grateful to (hopefully) get to live long enough to see my little sweetheart grow up!!!!!!  Praise God!!!

Love Actually

Here we are, just hanging out in our pj's in the morning.  Life is good, and love is so amazing!  What a blessing!

Ordinary Beauty

More pictures of us just enjoying our beautiful, blessed life!  I'm so happy and grateful to be alive!!!

We Are Family

These are some wonderful photos of when Aurelien's mom came to visit us in February of 2013.  She is really such a delight and it is always really fun when we get to hang out with her.  This is the first time I used my Christmas present, a Silhouette Cameo, on the title!!!  I like the way it turned out!!!

Family Photos

Here are some more photos from that wonderful hike at the state park just south of Yachats, OR, in February of 2013.  I love hiking and walking with my little family!

My 2 Loves-Happy Valentines Day!

Here we are on Valentine's Day, 2013!  My 2 beautiful brown-eyed loves...my true love and my sweet little love...I am the most blessed wife and mama in the world!  Thank you God!

Our Love Story-Happy Valentine's Day Eve!!!

Aurelien and I have quite the romantic love story...We met in 1997 when I went to NYC to be a nanny for his cousins.  When I arrived at their home in Manhattan, Aurelien answered the door.  It was love at first sight for both of us.  We had a whirlwind romance, the way that 19-year-olds do, in short, we were desperately in love...we got engaged and he bought me a stunningly beautiful ring.  Alas, we were star-crossed for reasons that I'm not going to go into on this oh-so-public domain...anyway it's all water under the bridge.  We broke up and it shattered both of us.  Like really really shattered us.

12 years later, after 7 1/2 years very unhappily married to an abusive rage-a-holic, I very innocently looked Aurelien's name up on facebook.  His picture popped up, and he was holding a cute little brown-eyed baby, who I assumed was his child. (It was his nephew!!!)  I wrote on his wall, "Hello Stranger!".  He wrote back and then we exchanged email addresses and became penpals, writing back and forth almost every day.  A month later we talked on the phone for the first time, and as soon as I heard his voice my heart started beating really fast.  I thought, "Oh my!  He certainly still has a strong effect on me after all these years!"  I finally found the courage to kick my husband out for good, got a quickie divorce, and went to Paris!  It was the bravest thing I'd ever done.

When we met at the airport again after 12 years we were both so shy and awkward, but when he held me for the first time in his apartment it felt like I'd finally come home.  We were married 10 months later, emigrated to Portland, OR 14 months after that, and our wonderful son William was born a year after that.  It's almost 5 years now since I first looked him up on facebook.  I'm so glad that I did!!!  I am finally living my dream life.  It's not perfect, but it is SO good.  I couldn't be happier.  I am blessed beyond measure.

Family Fun

This was a super fun family hike on this huge, steep trail south of Yachats, OR on the Oregon Coast.  Aurelien and I love being in the woods together, hiking and breathing in that incredible fragrant air.   And we live in this incredibly beautiful place, so we have lots of opportunities to indulge ourselves!

At the Newport Aquarium

My whole life I have dreamed of having a child and being able to share all these awesome firsts with them!  William had so much fun at the aquarium.  He was only 7 months old, but he really seemed to be interested in all the animals and wildlife.  I hope it is the first of many more such trips to come!!!

I love the 2 of you

Here's my 2 favorite handsome brown-eyed guys!  Just hanging out at home, peaceful and sweet.  I love it so much!!!

William and Mutti

Aurelien's mom is so good to William!  He is very lucky to have such a special relationship with both of his grandmas!

Mutti Comes For a Visit

William's French Grandmother comes to Portland to visit us at least once a year, which is really nice.  She is so much fun and we enjoy her so much!  William is very lucky to have 2 wonderful grandmas!

This week (a year ago)

Just getting back into normal life just after my radiation.  Very everyday, ordinary, but beautiful and precious, little moments with William!

Authentic Heart Revealed-A Motherhood Moment Poem

I wrote this just after the Soul Sisters Conference last fall, when I was still very much in that beautiful, creative soul space where poetry just naturally flows...I felt like I could have written oodles of poems, but this is the only one I managed to capture...

10/28/13

2:30 am

Tonight you were my little animal

My puppy

My cub

My little offspring.

I ran for the bottle,

Eager to appease

Your lusty cries.

You drank it up,

Full of thirst

Until you were satiated.

You grunted to let me know you were done,

Then nudged me to initiate

Cuddle time.

I flipped you over and we began our dance.

Belly to belly

We relaxed into each other.

Oxytocin flowed

As I smushed my lips into

Your soft skull

Your feather hair

And breathed in

The fragrance of you.

It filled my nostrils

And seemed to flow

Directly into my heart.

We rocked, and snuggled,

And very soon you slept.

Our beautiful animal dance,

Performed so many times,

So precious to this

Late in life,

Having lost all hope of you ever coming

Mama.

My back, my knees, my neck

All began to ache

But still I held out

Holding you as you slept on,

Filling your mama’s heart

Full to the brim, then overflowing just a little.

I creakily got to my feet,

Gently cradling you, my beautiful huge son.

Tenderly I placed you in your crib, and tiptoed silently away.

Back to sleep, hopefully, or else awaiting your further summons.

Oh my sweet.

Oh my baby loves.

You will grow up,

My big beautiful son

And the pearls of these times

When I can rock you to sleep

Will become a distant memory.

So I gather each precious pearl

While I still can,

And place it lovingly in my treasure box.

So grateful for each and every one.

Mommy loves William.